SPIDER BITE

I woke up yesterday morning with an odd tingling on my scalp. I touched it only to find a door knob sized knob on the crown of my scalp. Freaked out by this, I got in the shower and as soon as the hot water hit my head I almost passed out from the pain!!! So, my next step was to call my doctors office, which is really a glorified clinic. My husband is a Chief in the Navy and you would think that would entitle us to decent, and speedy medical treatment. No, it does not! So they could'nt accomodate me with an appointment until 2:30 the next after noon. That wasnt going to work for me...I have a door knob sized knot on the back of my head! So they tell me I have to go to the emergency room.

My first emergency room visit consisted of waiting twenty five minutes just to be triaged by a total bitch, that asked me if it was possible if I had scratched my self while shampooing my hair. That was before she had even looked at my scalp!!! I then waited two hours before getting totally annoyed and walking out.

I went and picked up my son from school, went to school myself, then after class I felt the knob pulsating.......yup the knob has its own heart beat!!!!

So off to another emergency room I go! I got right in this time!! Ding ding ding we have a winner!!! Not so much! The nurse came in, thouroughly examined my skull....so far so good. Then she pauses and says hmmmm....I am going to have to consult the physicians assistant. Moments later, the physicians assistant comes in, does exactly the same thing as the nurse and says....I want to confer with another physicians assistant.........who comes in and thens says.....jeez I don't know what to make of that....let me talk to the doctor. Then the Doc comes in and says......you guessed it! Let me check with another doctor! So by the end I had about fifty sets of fingers in my hair and what happens? They send the nurse in to do thier dirty work which consisted of messengering in a script for an antifungal shampoo!!!! So I look at her and I say, " is the shampoo going to penetrate the fucking knob on my head?"

So I left, with no answer other than a possible yeast infection on my scalp, uh hello arent dark, moist areas prone to yeast? I don't think my head classifies as dark, or moist!

Today I got up, knob still in its proper place, but now twice as big, and called my doctors office back. Nope they wouldn't see me today, so then I had to flip out like a mental patient on someone who probably didnt deserve it. So I decided to pay cash to see a REAL DOCTOR. I went back to my old office. I was greeted with friendliness, I waited a bit, and didn't mind because I knew I was going to see a competent individual. I sat down on the table, explained the whole ordeal, and with out looking she says, I have no idea how they determined that you have a fungal infection. Let me do a test! So she shuts the lights off, turns on a black light and shines it on my scalp. She told me if it was anything fungal, it would glow under the light. Guess what?! NO FUNGUS AMONG US!! She said wow thats a hell of a lump! My guess is that you had a scratch or were bitten by a spider or something and the bacteria just proliferated, this is definately a bacterial infection, and the only way its going away is with ORAL medication HELLO! I think those retarded doctors should pay me what they made on that assinine visit!