Gettin Down with the Get Down

Masturbation........ha ha ha, we all do it.  WE ALL DO IT.  I don't believe that we don't.  So how come for so many married people, it becomes a dirty little secret.  I never gave this much though until my husband "thought" caught me doing it in the bath room.  His exact words were, "can I join you?"  Ugggh!  How embarrassing!  Wait though, why is it embarrassing?  I could have invited him, or politley stated that I needed privacy.  Instead, I got pissed, embarrassed and told him to get the fuck out of here!!!!  Needless to say, I had been gettin down with the get down, but I didn't want him to know it.  So I hid the evidence (a bottle of lube)  in my tampon box and got back into bed.  I had the most mortifying conversation after that, he looks at me and says, "I know what you were doing".  I shyly chuckled and said, "oh and what was that?'  Then he doesn't even look at me and says "you know."  To which I reply "taking a dump?"  So he says "oh, come on, the same thing I always do in there!"  I laughed my ass off and he got mad, then we both went to sleep.

 It is so rediculous, yet I felt the need to lie about it.  If I want to "tickle the clam", "rub one out", "google my self"  "flick the biscuit", or :)  "Get Down with the Get Down"  why the hell should I be ashamed?  I guess we just are so conditioned to keep stuff like that a secret that we think we need to.  Maybe it is also that the whole purpose is that we don't want company!  Maybe if he knew that is what I was doing, I would feel guilty for not inviting him.....who knows, but  I think we all need to find a way to relax a little more about it.  It is natural, even if you are married, so what is the big deal?  The big deal is that we have always kept it private, so when your spouse spies on you in the bathroom, it is a little unnerving!  No one says, "excuse me, I am going to the bathroom to masturbate, so I will see you in a few......"   

Men are usually pretty out and about regarding beating off, but when it comes to women, for some reason I think we feel it needs to be privatized.  Like farts.  Men get so grossed out by women farting, like we aren't supposed to do it.  So of course I made damn sure that I dutch ovened Ben before we really got to know each other, that way, he would know the "real me"  ha ha ha.....  I couldn't be married to someone who hated me for farting.    At any rate, I am getting off track.  We should feel comfortable with ourselves and our spouses, so ladies "keep on keepin on."  and definately keep "gettin down with the get down"!  You will be happier and healthier for it, and there is no reason to be embarrassed, every one does it!